mamadelvec-shares

There are times in our lives that can never be forgotten. There are people in our lives that will never be out of mind. For me these equal the day my mother passed away. I do not think I will ever forget the exact instance that she left this world, and I know for sure, that I will never, ever forget her.

It has been 20 years since that fateful day. An exceptionally cold, snowy winter that literally chilled me to my bone. Perhaps it wasn’t the weather at all, but the brutal reality that death was imminent. It was Wednesday, February 19, 2003 in the hour of 8 pm; my beautiful, caring, loving mother; who had been plagued with cancer, succumbed to this terrible illness with all of her family members by her side. A fitting tribute for this lovely woman, who sacrificed so much for each of us.

Our family was broken apart that evening, it would never be the same. Our small camp was without its matriarch. Losing my mother was the worst pain I have ever experienced. As most mothers, she was the glue that kept our network tight.

As these 20 years have past, I always think of all the moments she has missed in my life, and in the lives of my family. Monumental occasions, as well as the small mundane day to day experiences that she is not part of makes my heart…break. She was robbed of so much, too young to have lost her life.

There was a horrific fire in my home state the very next day in which 100 people lost their lives, as well as countless others injured. My husband was on the scene, as he was a Captain on the fire department that was part of the response team that tragic evening. Although this horrible incident occurred, I was living my own nightmare; therefore, I felt somewhat removed from this disaster. I truly could not believe that the earth was still spinning never mind focus on others’ pain. My mother had just passed away, and that vast reality was tragic enough to comprehend. It was foreign to me that people were going about their day to day business, when my day to day would be forever changed.

Countless sunsets have passed since that evening when I lost my beloved mom, and many, many changes have taken place in my life. I am blessed and grateful for all the amazing family and friends I am surrounded by. Obviously, there have been other unique individuals that have passed away, who I also hold dear; however, I have lived with a piece of my heart gone, never to be replaced after losing my mom. Life has to keep moving forward, of course; nevertheless, I realize that I will never truly get over the loss of my mother. It is a sorrow I will carry softly until my final breath.

February 19, 2023, will mark the twentieth anniversary without her guidance and friendship. I will be reminded of the gentle soul she was, and hope that her spirit remains a beacon deep within my core. I’m confident that as long as my heart beats, she continues to live on through me, and the everlasting love I carry for her will never cease.

Forever loved,

mamadelvec